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Title: The Search for... Glory.
Authors: trillingstar & ozsaur
Rating: ...naughty. Silly!
Pairing(s): McKay/Sheppard
Warnings: Overflowing cracktastification. Purposefully cracky "art."
Word count: Not too many words, but lots of pictures. One possibly NSFW diagram (though anatomically correct).
Notes: Done up for prompt #36, dare, on sga_saturday.
Summary: JOHN IN A PITH HELMET


The Search for Rodney's Prostate
An Atlantean Adventure, vol. 69.



After many a mishap and many wrong turns, we find our heroes undertaking yet another adventure...

It all begins on one clear, bright Atlantean morning... after a long, hard evening of acrobatic sex...

Something is amiss.



"Urrrrgggh..."



"Good morning, sunshine!"

And Rodney's like, "John. We have to talk."



Whyyyyyyyy?

So they talk.



Well, Rodney talks.



"Oh, and also..."



And John's all, "I'm pretttty sure I know what I'm doing."



"Let me use small words this time..." Rodney says.



And John's like, "Shyeah right! I KNOW STUFF!"

Rodney says, "Look, it's fine, it's cool. We'll just have to do some research."

At first, John says, "Forget it, no way, no how."



LA - LA - LA!



...but then Rodney makes it into a dare.



And John is like, "Oh, it is ON."

Our heroes tackle each other the books.





Time passes...



John gets bored.

"This isn't working. Maybe some practical experience?
Rodney, I'm sure I can find it!"



"I love adventures!"



"I've got great detecting skills."





"Oh, sure," Rodney says. "Let me just draw you a map."



"I'm actually kind of familiar with Guam," John says, looking shifty.

"Oh my god, of course you are," Rodney replies.



Rodney looks pensive. "Remember back in the day...

Long, long ago...

When you had to pull over and ask for directions.
Not that I ever did," Rodney clarifies. "Because I never got lost.
But you, you were probably pulling over all the time...

And I only know this from what other people have told me, but
remember how somehow, you always got some goober telling you where to go...



"Ya have ta go back three miles, or five, depending...



...hang a left at the Hanson place that burned down back in '93... but you cain't really get theah
from heah, you have to go the next town ova and start from there."






Suddenly there was a breakthrough.

!!!



"Okay, I found something in the database... go on, activate it, Sheppard."



*ding!*



"Hunh..."

"Press the selection button!"





AND MUCH WAS LEARNED ON THAT DAY.

AND OUR HEROES WERE VICTORIOUS.

The end.


.Outtake.



John's Plan B involved military maneuvers.
"Flanking, Rodney! And two centralized points of attack!"


Note: This cracktastic picspam was conceived earlier today, when I was reading yet another fic where our hero searched high and low and sideways for our other hero's prostate. There was a lot of searching. So I whipped out my favorite what's what diagram [see above] to show ozsaur because seriously. Also because it always makes me laugh.

trillingstar: I'm looking for this picture
trillingstar: that I love and adore
trillingstar: that I want to post in comments every time someone has to search for the prostate
ozsaur: heh
ozsaur: I'm putting on my pith helmet and mounting an expedition
ozsaur: <---- said mounting during a prostate expedition
trillingstar: *shows pic*
ozsaur: OMG you made me laugh
ozsaur: laugh and laugh
trillingstar: I TOLD YOU RIGHT
ozsaur: you know what? post that to your LJ
ozsaur: and say... look, peeps, you don't have to put on your pith helmet and go on safari to find the prostate
trillingstar: you don't even have to try very hard at all
trillingstar: two knuckles in should do the trick
trillingstar: on my finger that's like, an inch.
ozsaur: LOL

Also it was clear that Rodney would need to dare John into anything because they are twelve.

TL;DR JOHN IN A PITH HELMET


Comments

( 74 comments — Leave a comment )
Page 1 of 3
<<[1] [2] [3] >>
keiramarcos
Feb. 2nd, 2012 05:03 am (UTC)
This! Is thirteen thousand kinds of fantastic. I snorted diet coke and then read the rest with my nose burning and my eyes watering.
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - trillingstar - Feb. 4th, 2012 04:32 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - trillingstar - Feb. 4th, 2012 04:31 am (UTC) - Expand
esteefee
Feb. 2nd, 2012 05:27 am (UTC)
wait, Rodney's prostate is in GUAM?
that explains SO VERY MUCH
about SO MANY STORIES I'VE READ
ALSO THIS IS LIKE BEST EVAR SHIT
AND WHY BLACK OPS COLONELS ARE THE BOYS' BOMB IN BAID.

the end
trillingstar
Feb. 4th, 2012 04:39 am (UTC)
IF ONLY EVERY MAN HAD THE TRAINING OF LT COL SHEPPARD. IF ONLY.

And the worrrrrld... would be a bet-ter place... ♥ Thank you!
admiralandrea
Feb. 2nd, 2012 06:05 am (UTC)
:dies laughing:

I loved Hermiod's role in this! *g*
trillingstar
Feb. 4th, 2012 04:41 am (UTC)
Hermiod is my favorite part :D Well and that last picture, of their FACES. Thank you!
dustandroses
Feb. 2nd, 2012 06:49 am (UTC)

::: spit take :::

You two are so fucking cracktastic.

You rock like an extreme rockin' thing!

It always makes me laugh when an author talks about finding that secret spot hidden deep inside... I'm like: Bitch! If it was that hard to find, there would be a lot less gay men who would be willing to bend over!


BTW - I've never been to Guam, but I bet I could find Rodney's prostate, without a flashlight, even. I wouldn't even have to use my fist. (I could, though, if he really wanted me to. ::: shifty eyes:::)
trillingstar
Feb. 4th, 2012 04:49 am (UTC)
Without a flashlight?! Here, take my magnifying glass, and BE CAREFUL. It's a long way in... or so they'd have you think. *g*

ozsaur is such an instigator. *happy sigh*
mific
Feb. 2nd, 2012 08:42 am (UTC)
Oh, man, you guys are totally taking the pith.

Hilarious! Although that pic of Hermiod is the stuff of nightmares...

trillingstar
Feb. 4th, 2012 04:55 am (UTC)
Taking the pith, hah, funny. So glad you enjoyed! And, hey, I think Hermiod looks awesome in overalls. They're a statement. LOL.
em_kellesvig
Feb. 2nd, 2012 12:52 pm (UTC)
Guam! Hermiod! Pith helmets!

(It's just like Rodney's prostate to be as stubborn as Rodney!)
trillingstar
Feb. 4th, 2012 05:03 am (UTC)
Hah! I almost used that screencap from your icon, a la "I can't believe we're having this conversation!" *g*

It's just like Rodney's prostate to be as stubborn as Rodney!
LOL. So true!
blackchaps
Feb. 2nd, 2012 02:00 pm (UTC)
*falls over laughing* BUT BUT BUT it takes a ten inch cock and much angling and rooting around! I KNOW THESE THINGS!! *dies*

*wheezes* Thanks for the giggles.
trillingstar
Feb. 4th, 2012 05:06 am (UTC)
And a whole tube of lube and questions ("Here? Here? Did I get it?") and a spleunking equipment and a CARABINER.

You are very welcome. *snuggs*
(no subject) - blackchaps - Feb. 6th, 2012 01:39 am (UTC) - Expand
danceswithgary
Feb. 2nd, 2012 02:26 pm (UTC)
Too goddamn funny! *giggles some more*
trillingstar
Feb. 4th, 2012 05:48 pm (UTC)
*laughs with you* So pleased you enjoyed :D
antares04a
Feb. 2nd, 2012 02:41 pm (UTC)
What a wonderful and funny idea! *lol*
trillingstar
Feb. 4th, 2012 05:51 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm so glad you had fun. :D
sgamadison
Feb. 2nd, 2012 02:48 pm (UTC)
Oh, THIS was what I needed to start my day off with a smile (after having had to walk home from the garage where my car's check engine light is being investigated). THANK YOU. :-)
trillingstar
Feb. 4th, 2012 06:01 pm (UTC)
Eep! Was it the gas cap?

You are welcome! I'm so pleased you got a kick out of this. *g*
(no subject) - sgamadison - Feb. 4th, 2012 06:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - trillingstar - Feb. 4th, 2012 07:05 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - sgamadison - Feb. 4th, 2012 07:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
pride_of_erin
Feb. 2nd, 2012 03:34 pm (UTC)
*snort* Oh, god...

trillingstar
Feb. 4th, 2012 06:02 pm (UTC)
Oh god oh god oh god! ...wait, what? :D
ribbon_purple
Feb. 2nd, 2012 03:58 pm (UTC)
*applauds*
trillingstar
Feb. 4th, 2012 06:03 pm (UTC)
*flourishes*
mezzo_cammin
Feb. 2nd, 2012 04:51 pm (UTC)
"Shyeah,right! I know stuff!"

Bweeeeeeee! I started cracking up right about there and didn't stop until the end was nigh.

I ♥ you SO hard for this!!!!

*wipes tears*
trillingstar
Feb. 4th, 2012 06:29 pm (UTC)
YAY LAUGHTER. My mission here is done. :D
hilde
Feb. 2nd, 2012 05:04 pm (UTC)
*falls over laughing*

Best thing evah!
trillingstar
Feb. 4th, 2012 06:30 pm (UTC)
Fall onto the pillows! Hah. Thank you, lovely! :D
tarlanx
Feb. 2nd, 2012 07:02 pm (UTC)
That was so good! Thank you for a much needed laugh :)
trillingstar
Feb. 4th, 2012 06:46 pm (UTC)
Heeee, I'm so glad you enjoyed it :D Thank you!
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( 74 comments — Leave a comment )

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