?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Title: A Not So Small Life
Author: esteefee
Categories: gen, character piece
Rating: G
Words: 415
Summary: John always figured he'd live a small life; run-of-the-mill, pretty ordinary.


A Not So Small Life

by esteefee



John always figured he'd live a small life; run-of-the-mill, pretty ordinary. He wasn't like Rodney with the big brained theories and the even bigger dreams of Nobels and being remembered for his work generations down the line.

John's father hadn't wanted it that way, but then, he and his dad hadn't seen eye to eye on a lot things and that was the biggest one, the one that tied it all up in a big knot.

John wanted to fly; that was it. He wanted to see things, but not be seen. He picked some pretty good camouflage, buddies like Ray, Little Moe, Mitch, Dex, Holland—guys that were bigger than big, the loudest guys in the room, and John provided the beer, the set-up, and sometimes, occasionally, the punch-line.

When John was good, he was really good—in the sky, no one could touch him. Fixed wings, helos—you name it, he could fly it.

But he had no ambitions on the ground, and his C.O.s all knew it. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Until he sat in that weird chair.

Until Atlantis.

John could blame a lot of things, if blame was the word he was looking for, late at night when he couldn't sleep for the pressure, for the walls closing in, the people he was responsible for, the deaths on his shoulders, the whole fucking galaxy he now had to defend. He could blame Sumner for getting caught, or O'Neill for sending him here to begin with; he could blame Rodney or Elizabeth for looking to him all the time as if he were The Guy, John Wayne with a P-90.

He could blame the gene that got him into this, that twist of code, of fate. One in a million or a billion, rare as the Star of India.

But John thought it was Atlantis herself, and the fact she could fly. A city that could fly—John thought, how could he fight that? Because even grounded, she was under his hands, bird-light and heavy as stone.

No place for him to hide.

John always figured he would live a pretty small life. That hadn't proven to be true.

If he was real lucky, though, maybe he'd survive long enough to die an ordinary death. An old man slipping in the bathtub at the age of eighty.

It was something to look forward to anyway, in between the crazy shit.

So John just smiled and kept on flying.


End.


Comments

( 32 comments — Leave a comment )
patk
Jul. 19th, 2011 11:26 am (UTC)
Yes! I think that's precisely John Sheppard in a (not so small) nutshell and I really like how you found the right words for it.

"John always figured he'd live a small life; run-of-the-mill, pretty ordinary."

JoeF once said in an interview that he tried to introduce John Sheppard as an average "next-door" guy, someone who didn't think of himself as exceptional or who would strive to be a hero. Just a normal guy who was trying to do his best when struggling with the things thrown at him. Somebody who would have to grow into the new shoes of a life in Pegasus.

You captured that perfectly. :-)

esteefee
Jul. 19th, 2011 11:40 am (UTC)
aw, see? I never read that interview, thank you for that, but that's definitely the way Joe played Sheppard, I think.

thank you kindly!
tli
Jul. 19th, 2011 11:45 am (UTC)
That was wonderful, and Sheppard in a nutshell.
esteefee
Jul. 19th, 2011 07:06 pm (UTC)
thanks!
juniperphoenix
Jul. 19th, 2011 12:44 pm (UTC)
Because even grounded, she was under his hands, bird-light and heavy as stone.

Oooh. I need to turn this over and over in my brain like a shiny rock.
esteefee
Jul. 19th, 2011 07:07 pm (UTC)
:))))

hoktauri
Jul. 19th, 2011 07:39 pm (UTC)
YES exactly this! I was also going to quote this line, but you beat me to it! Wonderful capture of John Sheppard, esp that he surrounds himself with the loudest people and provides the beer and punch lines--that just, Sheppard right there. Love this a lot!
mific
Jul. 19th, 2011 12:49 pm (UTC)
Lovely. I especially liked If he was real lucky, though, maybe he'd survive long enough to die an ordinary death.
Very Sheppard.
esteefee
Jul. 19th, 2011 07:08 pm (UTC)
thanks. it's a pretty awesome dream for him to have. kind of whimsically. :)
enigmaticblues
Jul. 19th, 2011 01:09 pm (UTC)
This was such a lovely peek into Sheppard's head. There's always more going on in there than shows on the surface.
esteefee
Jul. 19th, 2011 07:09 pm (UTC)
oh, love your icon. thanks!
(Deleted comment)
esteefee
Jul. 19th, 2011 07:11 pm (UTC)
aw, thanks caliecat! for coming over to the dark side momentarily. it's so swell to see you. :)))) I think you'd like these guys, but I understand if SciFi isn't your cup of tea.
(Deleted comment)
esteefee
Jul. 19th, 2011 07:39 pm (UTC)
Dude, then I don't know how you missed us. :))) I was a huge Twilight Zone fan, too, although I could never find the Outer Limits...something about the channel they were syndicated on.

I still have creepy mannequin nightmares. :D

I can find you download links if you want to be pimped! It's never too late to fall in love with Sheppard's wacky hair and Rodney's crazy hands.
gaffsie
Jul. 19th, 2011 04:53 pm (UTC)
That is very John.
esteefee
Jul. 19th, 2011 07:11 pm (UTC)
thanks, babe.
stella_pegasi
Jul. 19th, 2011 08:48 pm (UTC)
You described the John Sheppard I think we all love....

Love this line: "Because even grounded, she was under his hands, bird-light and heavy as stone." What an apt description of Atlantis.

Loved this look at Sheppard's pysche...very well done.

esteefee
Jul. 20th, 2011 06:55 am (UTC)
thanks, stella! love peeping into his head.
dragonladyk
Jul. 19th, 2011 09:09 pm (UTC)
I really liked this. ^^

DragonLady
esteefee
Jul. 20th, 2011 06:55 am (UTC)
thank you!
melagan
Jul. 19th, 2011 09:45 pm (UTC)
Oh John

I think that last line sums John up beautifully.
esteefee
Jul. 20th, 2011 06:56 am (UTC)
:)))))
linziday
Jul. 20th, 2011 12:42 am (UTC)
OMG, *love* this! You captured John so perfectly and yet drew out a part of his personality I rarely think about. (Perfect for the "rare" theme! ;0)

"He picked some pretty good camouflage, buddies like Ray, Little Moe, Mitch, Dex, Holland—guys that were bigger than big, the loudest guys in the room, and John provided the beer, the set-up, and sometimes, occasionally, the punch-line."

So true! And I've never seen it put that way before. Excellent!



esteefee
Jul. 20th, 2011 06:57 am (UTC)
thank you! so awesome to find that little hook.
fanficfan123
Jul. 20th, 2011 02:48 am (UTC)
Enjoyed this . . . in some ways, I think, the team (loud Rodney, big Ronon, silver-tongued Teyla) are still providing "camouflage" for Shepherd. His provoking Rodney into paroxysms and then coming in witht a punchline also continues this pattern, acutely observed.
patk
Jul. 20th, 2011 06:34 am (UTC)
Brillant observation!
esteefee
Jul. 20th, 2011 06:54 am (UTC)
I agree: totally fits the pattern. thanks for catching that!
fanficfan123
Jul. 22nd, 2011 06:43 pm (UTC)
Smile.
scarym1
Jul. 20th, 2011 02:40 pm (UTC)
Lovely insight into John Sheppard. : )

I especially like the line near the end when he says he would like to die an ordinary death - an old man slipping in the bathtub at the age of eighty.

lilyfarfalla
Jul. 22nd, 2011 12:23 am (UTC)
!!!!!!! So much love. Oh john sheppard.
saphirablue
Jul. 24th, 2011 02:18 pm (UTC)
Wow! Simply wow!

Thank you!
scarlettandblue
Jul. 24th, 2011 06:49 pm (UTC)
I didn't think it was possible to adore John more, but I think, maybe you just made that happen!

I've always thought of him as a hiding in plain sight kind of guy, and that he was only really confident when he was in the air. And you described that so beautifully here. Gorgeous. thank you.
ozsaur
Jul. 24th, 2011 09:44 pm (UTC)
Wonderful character piece!
( 32 comments — Leave a comment )

Comm Info

atlantis
sga_saturday
SGA Saturday

Our Tags

Latest Month

April 2017
S M T W T F S
      1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30      
Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Paulina Bozek