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TITLE: Movie Night
FANDOM: Stargate Atlantis
CHARACTERS: Evan Lorne, David Parrish, Laura Cadman, Carson Beckett, Markham, Stackhouse
PAIRINGS: Evan Lorne/David Parrish (Pre-Slash), Laura Cadman/Carson Beckett, Markham/Stackhouse
WORDS: 1110
NOTES: Written for the SGA Saturday prompt, "Heist".
SUMMARY:  Evan finds some movies on Atlantis' Intranet, and invites the team over for movie night.


Usually Evan Lorne felt a sense of pride when he was able to secure things from the secreted, hidden corners of the Atlantis Intranet for his team.  But right now, he mostly just wanted to crawl into a hole and never be found, or possibly dial a space gate and walk into oblivion.

In the past adventures, he'd scored the entirety of 'Desperate Housewives' for Laura Cadman, when he found out it was a favorite, and for Stackhouse, he'd uncovered the entirety of the new 'Sherlock'season that someone had cleverly hidden under a subdirectory called "Cumberbitch".  But he was most proud of what he was able to find for David Parrish, the scientist that Evan had nursed a crush on for the entirety of their time together.  For him, Evan had located the BBC's 'Planet Earth' documentary series, as well as quite a few programs with a botanical slant.  Those finds had almost felt like a heist, except he was paid off in digital files instead of cash.

Evan's latest discovery was a few movies that he'd heard good things about, but could never seem to get a copy of; Zelenka, the unofficial maintainer of Atlantis' black market for everything but coffee (which was deftly handled by Doctor McKay), kept a tight hold on most of the more obscure media.  So when Evan found a folder marked 'favorites' that held the titles Pacific Rim and Hot Fuzz, he knew he hit paydirt.  He'd had dinner with his team and told them, "Movie night, my quarters, 21:00 hours," but wouldn't tell them what the feature was.  Indeed, he wasn't sure himself which movie he wanted to watch, so he'd let his team make the decision.

"Action or comedic-action?" he called out from the overstuffed sofa that he, Laura (Carson sitting on the floor between her feet), and David Parrish were sitting on, Stackhouse and his new husband, Markham, taking the loveseat.

"We get a choice?" Laura asks as she cards a hand through Carson's already messy hair.

"What titles?" David asks, leaning over to take a peek at the computer Evan was using to decide which movie to send to the giant television he'd managed to have brought to Pegasus a few months back.  He and Sheppard had worked on being as creative as possible, getting things like pianos, big screen televisions, and pool tables on a special supply run, aiming to better moral.

Moving the screen so David could see the titles, Evan announces to the room, "Pacific Rim or Hot Fuzz?"

After a little mumbling, the group decides on Pacific Rim, so Evan mentally dims the lights and sends the title to the television, where it cues up.  He watches as David pulls the popcorn bowl to  the space between them, and smiles when their hands touch as they both reach for the salty treat.

While the movie was new to each person in the room, Evan knew something must be amiss, because for a monster based action movie, the production values didn't seem all that great.

Evan focuses on the screen, where a muscular blonde man walks into a room that is full of about half a dozen Asian men in various states of undress.

"What the hell?" Laura asks.

The muscular man on the screen's voice comes booming through the surround-sound speakers the next second.  "I've got a monster," he says, the camera suddenly focused on the shape of obscenely engorged cock through thick denim.  "Now who do I have to rim to get someone on this thing?"  In one fluid motion, the actor rips open his pants, letting them puddle at his feet as he grabs his swollen cock, and several Asian men come forward as tribute.

Evan tries every keystroke he can as the movie plays, trying to get it to disappear off the screen, but nothing works.  He tries shutting the laptop as a chorus of voices start either hooting or laughing, a flummoxed Carson Beckett hiding his eyes as he mutters something in a much thicker accent than normal.  "How in the hell do you stop this thing?" Evan almost screams as Laura, Stackhouse, and Markham stand up and the lights come back on.

He watches as David leans forward and grabs the television's remote control, hitting the button and killing the picture, finally freeing them from the inopportunely named porno.  But it doesn't take but a few moans and an excited, "Your cock is so huge!" to figure out that the sound system is still on, surrounding the team with the noises of the orgiastic encounter.  David calmly leans forward and hits the second remote, finally freeing them completely.

Everyone is stunned for a few minutes before the silence is broken by laughter.  And while Evan knows his face must be about the color of a ripe beet, he tries to laugh it off as well.  As soon as he realizes that his cock is ragingly hard, he sits down, burying his face in his hands, muttering, "I'm so sorry, everyone."

"Well this was fun," Laura says as she pulls Carson to his feet.  "But I think we'll pick the movie next time," she says as they approach Evan's door.

"I don't know; I thought it was kinda hot," Stackhouse manages, Evan looking up in time to see Stacks pinch his husband's backside.

Sighing, Markham replies, "Babe?  We are so not watching porn in front of our commanding officer.  Ever again!" as he leads them out of the quarters.

Things are quiet for a moment with just Evan and David in the room, when Laura sticks her head back around the corner.  "You comin', Davey?" she asks.

Evan finally glances at David Parrish, who is nearly as red as Evan was.  "No," David manages, Evan noticing the bowl of popcorn now strategically placed over his crotch.  "I'm, uhh..."

Laura Cadman cackles, disappearing from the doorway.  Evan can hear her footfalls and laughter echoing back for what seems like ages.

"So, uh," David finally starts.  "Where exactly did you find these movies?"  He finally looks up, catching Evan's gaze, a gentle smile on his face.

"Zelenka," Evan replies.  "Oh man," he says as the title of the second movie fills his head with possibilities.  "I wonder if Hot Fuzz is porn, too..."

He glances at David, who suddenly drops his gaze to the floor before reaching for the controls.  Leaning back, he clicks the button on the remote and then moves the popcorn bowl, a noticeable bulge filling the crotch of his BDUs.

Mentally locking the door, Evan smiles before scooting closer to David, as the sights and sounds of their entertainment envelopes them.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 9th, 2015 05:53 pm (UTC)
OMG!! So funny!! I laughed so hard! ::))
Mar. 10th, 2015 03:38 am (UTC)
EEE!!!!! Awesome! I'm glad I could get you to laugh. Thank you!!
Mar. 9th, 2015 08:42 pm (UTC)
*dies laughing* OMG, I will admit I've been there when this has happened :D *falls about laughing again* Poor Evan *g*
SO cute with David left behind *snort*
Mar. 10th, 2015 03:38 am (UTC)
Oh yes... Been there, done that! ::grin::

Thank you!!!
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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