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Prompt # 74 - 76: Brain

Title: Brain Worm
or Thermodynamics in the Pegasus Galaxy part 5B
Author: scarlettandblue
Category: John and Rodney slash
Rating: Adult
Summary: proof it‘s not forgotten.




Everyone has probably forgotten, and who can blame them after so long a pause? But there is a little series which I add to every now and again and this is the tiny little next bit. And there are the earlier bits should you need a reminder….. Part one of this story and the disclaimer can be found here link to The Rules of Thermodynamics, The Pegasus Remix Part 1


Disclaimer: As usual none of this is really mine, and I don’t make any money from this so don’t sue me, please.




It was like the whole city was waiting for the other shoe to drop. People tip-toed around John even more than normal, and God knew he already had a reputation for extreme discomfort in the face of any emotional turmoil.

It was no surprise to anyone that his two remaining best friends were Ronon Dex a man who could remain stoic after the destruction of entire planet, and Teyla, whose tact and diplomacy were serenely untroubled by everything, really. But suddenly it was as if the entire Atlantis collective realised that John had lost his emotional safety blanket. Or more accurately his safety valve.

Rodney had been blundering through John‘s emotional reticence since day one. He was simply oblivious to other people’s boundaries, just like he was oblivious to all the known laws of physics that turned out to be wrong. Theories he overwrote on a daily basis in every day in the Pegasus Galaxy. And neither John’s emotional isolation, nor Mr Woolsey’s painfully formal insistence on meeting protocols vis-à-vis the sanctity of his mid-morning cup of coffee and chocolate muffin, had been safe from McKay with his pushy emotional fall out and his grabby grabby hands.

And it wasn’t until he was gone, again, that everyone remembered that among all the other things he undoubtedly was, McKay also happened to be John‘s touchstone.

There had been a few times in the past when Rodney had been lost, or as close to lost that it made no difference, to them. The most recent in a long list being the alien parasite inside his head that had slowly leached away McKay’s intellect. And the thing was, at the time, John had been aware of the imminent painful loss of his best friend. He had been aware of the way everyone else was struggling to cope with it. He had been aware of the choking swirl of unchecked emotions going on around him.

Yet somehow John had remained able to deal with it. Because while he could see, could understand the terrible toll as each day took more and more IQ points away from him, McKay was still there. He was still essentially Rodney McKay. He would still blunder down corridors in the middle of the night to bang on John‘s closed door. He would still push his way inside John’s fortress of solitude and demand things from him. Things no one else had ever demanded in quite that way. Things John usually wasn’t sure he even had in himself to give, until McKay asked for them. Things John would never be willing to admit he even had, he’d willingly give over to McKay.

That last time they’d almost lost him, McKay had come to John wanting to say goodbye, but John had understood that what McKay actually wanted was for John to not say goodbye, to refuse to give up, to insist that this wasn’t the end. Because no matter how much he’d changed, no matter what he believed he’d lost, McKay was undeniably still there. Still John’s best friend, still the guy to have a beer and a joke with out on the west pier.

So it was surprisingly easy this time to keep doing what he knew McKay needed him to do, which was to not say goodbye, again!


And it helped that unlike everyone else John felt it. Felt that Rodney was still out there, still bitching and moaning and fixing things in some dimension or other. Ascended and flying around the universe like an ill tempered, intergalactic squid, fixing broken stars, or collapsing defective ones. Or descended and amnesiac on some desert planet, flapping around in unflattering robes improving their irrigation systems and installing superior sanitation that ran on sand or harnessed the power of sunlight.

But wasn’t some gushy messy emotion he felt in his heart. Even though John might now admit that McKay had begun to engage the interest of that most underused of all his muscles. No it wasn’t his heart where he felt it. It was his brain.

That feeling of Mckay still being around was like his own personal brain worm, somewhere deep in his amygdale. Similar to the feeling of Atlantis. Similar but deeper and more essential that the feeling he got whenever he picked up a new piece of Ancient Tech.

John knew if ever McKay was gone for real he would feel that bright spark in his brain go dark and dead.

TBC

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
rissabby
Nov. 11th, 2012 09:45 am (UTC)
Oh my goodness! eek! Where is our Rodney? :(
scarlettandblue
Nov. 11th, 2012 02:15 pm (UTC)
Hey you reminded me, thank you!
I have now put in the links which I forgot to do yesterday, so if you want you can read the story from the start.
Hope you like it ;-)
rissabby
Nov. 12th, 2012 12:45 pm (UTC)
Yes. I've definitely been enjoying this story. Poor John, poor Radek. I'm looking forward to your (eventual) happy ending (I hope).

I had some trouble finding all the parts. The link to the first part worked great, as well as a couple of links at the ends of chapters. Somewhere, after part 3 or 4 there's no link to the next part and I scrolled through your LJ reading unrelated (but enjoyable) stories until I found the next bit. It was well worth reading, but I did get a little confused.
hickman1937
Nov. 13th, 2012 11:57 pm (UTC)
I'm hoping this is a mpdjk. Forgot about this series and am glad you're continuing.
scarlettandblue
Nov. 14th, 2012 02:52 am (UTC)
Oh it's still bubbling away here in my brain, it's just I have been suffering from a massive case of laziness, or maybe some kind of block, I just can't seem to write worth a damn these days :-(
hickman1937
Nov. 23rd, 2012 03:32 am (UTC)
A long time ago lavvyan said that she was blocked, then wrote the little first part of a world. "Maybe" is all us readers have. Thank you for writing.

Edited at 2012-11-23 03:34 am (UTC)
scarlettandblue
Nov. 24th, 2012 12:29 pm (UTC)
You are very kind, thank you for reading even this poor writer
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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