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Fic for week 61 "Base" Base Theorem, The

Title: Base Theorem, The
Author: ldyanne
Pairing: John/Rodney
Categories: silliness, fluff
Warnings: none, excessive silliness?
Words: 1,900
Summary:  I wanted to write something meaningful about how the base of John and Rodney's relationship was their love and respect for each other.  Instead, I got this…
A/N:  Thanks to my beta, the awesome iloveatlantis, you are the best!

John could never see it coming when it involved him, but he could always tell the signs where McKay was involved.  The women liked to bat their eyelashes at him and tell him how smart he was, how much they admired him.  And Rodney always bought it.  

He never could see that the women just wanted into his pants so they could have his smart babies.  It made John so mad because the women didn't see Rodney McKay, they just saw his ability to fix anything he put his hands on, and his ATA gene.

In this particular case, the woman was the chief scientist in a society that prized intelligence above all else.  They were certain that it was in elevating their intelligence that they would be able to defeat the Wraith.  John watched as the woman, Chief Scientist Selia, hovered at Rodney's side.  She put her hand on his arm as she leaned into him, artlessly brushing her breasts against him as he explained some point or another.

Rodney was so engrossed in his point that he totally missed that the woman was all but undressing him right there in the lab while the rest of Rodney's team watched.

John didn't feel particularly guilty when he pulled Rodney away.

"Time to call it a night," he said firmly, putting himself between Rodney and Selia.

"But good Dr. McKay has not yet finished explaining his theory to me," Selia protested.  

"I know," she said brightly, "you may all retire for the night.  Dr. McKay and I can finish up here and then I will walk him to your assigned quarters for the night," she was practically purring, trying to make an end run around John's side and get by him.  John countered her by stepping into her path.

Rodney finally figured out to what was going on, he nodded enthusiastically.  "I'm not all that tired," he said.  "I think I've probably got another few hours in me.  I'm sure we can finish up this project."  He tried to get around John.  This time Ronon stepped in to catch Rodney's arm, he man-handled Rodney in the direction of their quarters.

"It's pretty late," Ronon said, pulling Rodney along.  "You're always complaining that you don't get enough beauty sleep."

John fell in on Rodney's other side, grabbing his arm just to make sure he didn't make good his escape.  Teyla brought up the rear, cutting off Rodney's retreat that way.

John chanced a quick look back.  Selia was just standing there, watching them leave, bewilderment written across her face.  John felt a moment's mean satisfaction, that this was yet another woman that he had saved Rodney from.

Rodney, who by all appearances didn't really want to be saved, wrenched himself free from his teammate's grasp.

"What is wrong with you guys?" he hissed.  He marched ahead of them to their rooms, not looking back to see if anyone was following him.  When he got to the door he stopped and turned back to them.  His arms were crossed.

"Well," he snapped, gesturing at the other doors.  "If I'm not getting any, then neither are any of you."

Teyla didn't roll her eyes but John could tell that she wanted to.  Ronon did roll his eyes.

John opened the door and motioned for Rodney to enter.  He indicated that Teyla and Ronon should take the other two rooms with a jerk of his head.  He would stay with Rodney to make sure that little miss head scientist didn't take it upon herself to make a late night visit to Rodney.  To finish discussing that theory, of course.

He shut the door and turned to find a pissed Rodney McKay standing there, his hands on his hips, steam practically coming out of his ears.

"No, really, what was that?" he demanded.

John chose the ignore-it-and-maybe-it-will-go-away plan, "It's time for all good astrophysicists to be in bed.  The regent wanted you to look at their power supply in the morning and see if you could improve on its efficiency.  You need to be fresh."

"Oh, please," Rodney huffed.  "These people are barely above steam engines and believing they can spin straw into gold.  Kavanagh could improve the efficiency of their power supply.  And don't think that I didn't notice you changing the subject.  Selia was in to me.  I could be having very good sex right now."

John counted on Rodney remaining oblivious to his cockblocking efforts.  It wasn't that he didn't want Rodney to have sex.  He just wanted Rodney to have sex with someone who cared about him.  So far John hadn't met any women that he thought fit that bill.

John sighed.  "Come on, Rodney, they don't care about you.  They just want to have little McKay babies."

Rodney's eyes narrowed dangerously.  "They?  How many times have you done this precisely?"

Oh, shit, John hadn't meant to let that drop.  "Once, twice maybe.  Not many times at all.  Come on, McKay, you don't want casual sex with strange women."

Rodney glared at him.  "Yes, yes, I do.  I'm perfectly fine with casual sex with strange women.  Then I don’t have to deal with the disappointment later when they never want to see me again."

That right there was one of things that John was trying to protect Rodney from, but he couldn't tell Rodney that.

"Well it's not happening tonight, so you might as well call it a night."  John gestured to a bed.  There were two of them in the room, with a little table between them.  A lit globe on the table provided the room with a warm glow.  It was the Pegasus Galaxy equivalent of Motel 6.

Rodney crossed his arms.  "What, so you can sneak out once I'm asleep and spend the night with Selia?"

John sat on one of the beds, unknotting the laces on his boots.  "I'm not going anywhere.  I'll be bunking in here tonight."

"You're going to make sure my virtue stays intact?" Rodney asked caustically.  "I can assure you that I lost my virtue long ago."

John kept working on the laces of his boots.  They'd gotten tangled and didn't want to come unlaced. He very determinedly did not look up at Rodney.  There was silence for way too long.

"That's what you're doing, isn't it?"  Rodney finally asked.  John chanced a glance up at him, and the anger was gone.  It had been replaced by something far more frightening - the thinking look.  When Rodney put on the thinking face, worlds had literally been blown up.

John knew he had to say something before Rodney could put things together.  "I really don't want you to get hurt," he said.  "So sue me for being a good friend."

Rodney moved abruptly to sit next to John.  "You are a good friend.  Thank you."

"You're welcome."  John was surprised, and warmed a little.

Rodney put his hand on John's knee.  "So, maybe we can be a little better friends?  You know, give each other a little stress relief."  He gave a little rub on John's leg.

"What?" John scrambled backwards across the bed, nearly falling on his ass trying to get away.  "No."

Rodney scowled.  "So, what you're saying is that you won't let me have sex with women we meet on missions and you won't have buddy sex with me either?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying," John answered, firmly, hoping that Rodney didn't notice how on board parts of his body were with the buddy sex plan.

Rodney stood and stalked across the room, the very picture of frustrated sexuality.  "So, who am I supposed to have sex with then?"

"With someone who cares about you.  Who wants you for you, warts and all."

"I don't have warts."

"Rodney, you know what I mean."  John was desperate to end the conversation.  It had already gone too far into territory he wanted to avoid.  "Now, can we just go to bed?"

"No, Rodney said mulishly.  "I want to know why you're so against me having sex."

"Rodney, I'm not against you having sex," John said, just wanting the conversation to be over.  "I just think you should be with someone who loves you."

John didn't know exactly what he'd said, but Rodney was wearing the thinking face again.

"You don't want me to have sex with random strangers," Rodney said slowly, he sounded like he did when he was working on a theory.  "You want me to have sex with someone who cares about me, someone who loves me."

"Yes," John said slowly, trying to avoid the trap he was sure was going to snap closed any moment now.

Rodney stood.  "It's you," he declared.

"What?" John's voice squeaked.

"You don't want to have buddy sex because you love me."

"I… what… I'm not sure…" Rodney stalked across the room, stopping to stare down at John.

"Tell me you don't love me, and I'll go to bed."

John felt his voice dry up.  Rodney smiled that crooked smile.  "You love me," he sing songed.

John scowled at him.  "No, no I really don't."

Rodney crawled onto the bed, he leaned in and kissed John - nice and slow, with lots of tongue.  

John tried to resist, he really did.  But he'd never been able to resist Rodney.  Rodney just steamrollered over any token protests he made and did what he wanted anyway.

"Rodney, we can't do this here, not offworld."  There had to be some ground rules, or it was going to be all sex, all the time.

"Here?"  Rodney looked around the room.  "You're right, I can't have sex on this mattress, it would kill my back.  But we could make out for a while.  You know, get to first base."

"First base?  How very romantic of you."

"Oh, please," Rodney sniffed, "You have met me right?  And yet, you still love me," he crowed again.

"You know I think I've changed my mind." John tried to push him away, but he didn't try too hard.  

Rodney held John down by his shoulders.  When he was satisfied that John was going to stay put, he leaned in to kiss John again, his hands wandering down John's body.  Rodney pinched John's nipple making him moan.

"Second base," Rodney sounded so delighted that John couldn't help but stay still and let Rodney wrap himself around John, hands finding bare skin under his shirt, Rodney nipping at his neck.

John caught Rodney's hand as it headed south.  "First base, remember?"

Rodney broke away, staring down at John suddenly unsure.  "This is real right?  You're not just playing some sort of stupid joke on me?"

John couldn't deal with an unsure Rodney.  Any doubts he might have had were swept away in his need to reassure Rodney.

John pulled Rodney down into a hot, breath-stealing kiss.  John had never told Rodney how he felt because he knew once he kissed Rodney McKay, he'd never be able to stop.

"You were going to show me the bases," he murmured as he pressed kisses to Rodney's face, his chin, the jut of his jaw.

Rodney's hands moved restlessly over John's body, "Oh, yeah," he breathed out.  "So…"

"If you're lucky, I might let you get to 2nd base," John promised with a wicked grin.  

Once they got back to Atlantis, John was going for a homerun at the first possible opportunity.


( 24 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 31st, 2012 01:48 am (UTC)
Eeee, I can't wait to read!!
Jul. 31st, 2012 01:56 am (UTC)
Now I'm nervous ;-) You know, like the literary equivalent of stage fright!
Jul. 31st, 2012 02:39 am (UTC)
Naaaaah, no worries!
Jul. 31st, 2012 03:06 am (UTC)
Fun! You did good!
Aug. 1st, 2012 03:23 am (UTC)
*grins* Thank you!
Jul. 31st, 2012 04:44 am (UTC)
This. Was. AWESOME!!!!!!! Adorkably awesome!!!!!
Aug. 1st, 2012 03:23 am (UTC)
They are adorkable, aren't they! Thank you!
Jul. 31st, 2012 07:21 am (UTC)
the base theorem
And all of us are standing next to third base, waving 'em home.


Aug. 1st, 2012 03:23 am (UTC)
Re: the base theorem

Oh, yeah!
Jul. 31st, 2012 07:25 am (UTC)
Very nice. Very funny and charming. You gave Rodney great lines.
Aug. 1st, 2012 03:24 am (UTC)
Thanks! Rodney is one of my favorite people to write!
Jul. 31st, 2012 11:20 am (UTC)
Why do I have 'Take me out to the ball game' playing in my head, ROTFLMAO.

Aug. 1st, 2012 03:24 am (UTC)


*hands you peanuts*
Aug. 1st, 2012 04:45 am (UTC)
Love some thanks LOL
Aug. 1st, 2012 03:24 am (UTC)
Oh, and, love the icon, it makes me laugh a lot!
Aug. 1st, 2012 04:48 am (UTC)
I smiled the entire way through this ♥ ♥ Team cockblocking! Rodney figures things out!
Aug. 2nd, 2012 02:19 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. I love fics where Rodney figures things out.
Aug. 1st, 2012 08:09 am (UTC)
Sweet story!
Aug. 2nd, 2012 02:19 am (UTC)
Thank you!
Aug. 1st, 2012 05:45 pm (UTC)
awww! so sweet!
Aug. 2nd, 2012 02:20 am (UTC)
Thank you!
Aug. 5th, 2012 07:51 am (UTC)
Sweet and funny and totally delightful! Love thow the team is protecting Rodney, and awkward John is always so cute :D Wonderful read for a sunny Sunday, thanks for sharing!
Aug. 7th, 2012 12:28 am (UTC)
Thank you! Glad I could help make your Sunday special ;-)
Aug. 15th, 2012 01:25 pm (UTC)
And it's a homerun for Team McShep! \o/ :-D
( 24 comments — Leave a comment )

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