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Week #51: Dry, Very Dry (Gen, G)

Title: Dry, Very Dry
Author: esteefee
Categories: Gen, Friendship, Humor
Rating: G
Words: 600
Warnings: none
Summary: Just another non-eventful day in Atlantis.
A/N: for sixtail who had a bad day.

Dry, Very Dry

by esteefee

John was kicking back in his quarters, a well-deserved brew in one hand and a comic book in the other, when Rodney came charging in, the fingers of both hands spasming inarticulately and his face flaming red with frustration. It was either that or he was having a stroke.

John hoped not. "Hey, what's up?"

Rodney's mouth made a squishing noise as if he'd just swallowed his tongue, and then he exploded into curses, the words "Incompetent boobies," "nincompoops," and "nit-brained simpletons who don't deserve to inhabit the same planet as my genius, let alone the same hemisphere," streaming out of his mouth without pause while John tried to hold back a smirk. Seriously, when McKay got going John kind of wished he could sample him for a beat track.

"No kidding," John said.

Rodney paused and gaped at him, then said, "And if I hadn't made the catch and uncoupled their sorry excuse for a generator we'd all be dead, so yes, I fired their useless behinds and confined both of them to their quarters where they will be free to contemplate the error of their ways for the next week and a half until the Daedalus arrives to haul them out of this galaxy, which is only just barely far enough to satisfy me, I'll have you know."

"Oh, I know." John nodded earnestly.

Rodney's eyes narrowed.

"I'm sure they're both ruing the day." John tipped his beer in congratulations.


"Grab a beer. You've earned it."

Rodney gave him one last distrustful look, then skirted the bed to open the mini-fridge. "I thought you said you had beer," he said, pulling out a Coors.


Rodney took a chair and propped his feet on the bed. "I certainly deserve better, or weren't you listening when I mentioned the imminent demise I just saved us from? Do you have any idea how many megatons a naquadah generator would yield if it exploded? At that proximity to the gate room, no less?"

John chewed his lip and stared upward. "Mmm, carry the three...throw in a kitten..."

Rodney kicked his foot.

"A lot?"

"Yes! Bingo! A lot!" Rodney shook his head despairingly.

"Well, thanks, Rodney. For saving us from the mortal peril."

Rodney sipped his beer and stared at John with slitted eyes. With his hair still ruffled up from his tantrum, he looked like a mean old tomcat contemplating taking a swipe with his claws.

John bit the inside of his cheek. "My guys especially thank you."

"Your guys?"

"Yeah, you know—" John waved his free hand. "My 'nads. I hear radiation is a bitch to wash out of the chromosomes."

Rodney's lips quirked. "Assuming they didn't fry in the two megaton blast."

John pointed. "Right! It's always something."

Chuckling outright, Rodney tilted his head back and let his beer rest on his stomach. "God." He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "So, how was your day? Count any good bullets? File any fascinating paperwork?"

"Not really." John finished his beer and tossed it for two right into the trash can. "Oh—there was that one Trust agent Lorne and I caught sabotaging the jumpers."

Rodney's eyes popped open.

John shrugged. "Minor shootout. No explosions imminent." He bit back a smirk. "Probably our jumper would have just..." John demonstrated the falling arc and plummet with one hand, then grinned. "Wet landing."

Rodney swallowed. "Wet. Very wet."

"I prefer dry, myself."

"I've noticed," Rodney said, his voice wry.

They sat in silence, Atlantis' hum keeping them company. After a while Rodney said, "So. Another beer?"

"Don't mind if I do."

It was just that kind of day.



( 45 comments — Leave a comment )
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May. 16th, 2012 12:00 am (UTC)
Ok, you got me laughing with "...John kind of wished he could sample him for a beat track." which is AMAZING and awww, the rest! Saving the day, whatevs. This is actually kind of what I wanted my story last week to be, but then it wasn't, so I'm so so delighted that you wrote it! <333
May. 16th, 2012 12:08 am (UTC)
oh God, wouldn't Rodney make an awesome beat track??? <3

and I loved John poking his finger in Rodney's mouth! I think that would have improved this story greatly. :))))
May. 16th, 2012 12:03 am (UTC)
Sometimes it is just that kind of day... Loved it!! Wonderful use of the prompt, too.
May. 16th, 2012 12:09 am (UTC)
\o/ thank you! These guys are too much fun.
May. 16th, 2012 12:27 am (UTC)
"Mmm, carry the three...throw in a kitten..."

May. 16th, 2012 12:37 am (UTC)
hee! HE COULDA BEEN MENSA you know!
May. 16th, 2012 12:30 am (UTC)
Amazing, awesome, and thanks, I needed that. Maybe now I can come out from under the bed!
May. 16th, 2012 12:39 am (UTC)
*hugs* it's safe! I promise.
May. 16th, 2012 01:03 am (UTC)
I just love these two and their relationship (in any capacity). This was wonderful and made me grin :P
May. 16th, 2012 01:08 am (UTC)
I love that John knows just how to calm Rodney down—and gets a kick out of doing it. :) and where does Rodney go when he's in a tizzy?
May. 16th, 2012 02:04 am (UTC)
Awesome. I love their friendship in your hands. John is just SOOOO John, and Rodney is quintessential. I bow to the expertise demonstrated here. :)
May. 16th, 2012 02:35 am (UTC)
aw, *geez*, C. :))) back atcha.
May. 16th, 2012 05:25 am (UTC)
LOL Ah boys , now I want to hear that Rondey snarking beat track. ;)
May. 16th, 2012 06:17 pm (UTC)
me too! :))
May. 16th, 2012 07:29 am (UTC)
Just an average day.. ♥

(and after his epic rant, Rodney sits back and asks John about his day. This pleases me greatly)
May. 16th, 2012 06:18 pm (UTC)
May. 16th, 2012 08:09 am (UTC)
LOLOL! That was just awesomely funny - still giggling.

Just what I needed, thanks!
May. 16th, 2012 06:19 pm (UTC)
thanks! I needed it too. :D
May. 16th, 2012 09:34 am (UTC)
Haha, that's quite a day! John's got the right idea; beer, comic book, laying down a nice hip-hop beat...
May. 16th, 2012 06:20 pm (UTC)
he's chillaxin', dude. :D
May. 16th, 2012 09:59 am (UTC)
Heeee-hee Delightful!
May. 16th, 2012 06:21 pm (UTC)
May. 16th, 2012 12:19 pm (UTC)
Very enjoyable, and very funny.
May. 16th, 2012 06:21 pm (UTC)
thank you!
May. 16th, 2012 01:00 pm (UTC)
That was fun!
I liked this bit especially:
"I thought you said you had beer," he said, pulling out a Coors.
Rodney, ever the conoisseur.
May. 16th, 2012 06:22 pm (UTC)
that's our boy. :D
May. 16th, 2012 01:49 pm (UTC)
LOL! John's wry humor through this whole thing was a delight, and I love how he defuses Rodney.
May. 16th, 2012 06:22 pm (UTC)
he has his ways. ♥ thanks, eb!
May. 16th, 2012 06:20 pm (UTC)
I loved this piece! It was so in character, for both the boys. But you had me giggling at work (and thus, all the people around me giving me the evil eye!) with, "I thought you said you had beer," he said, pulling out a Coors.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Oh, Rodney - I'm with you!!! :)
May. 16th, 2012 06:24 pm (UTC)
Re: Awwwwww
hahahah, made you make 'em gopher! :) hi hi my squidgie ♥

yeah, Coors, bleagh.

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( 45 comments — Leave a comment )

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